8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I pour the whiskey from now on
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
