There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I can't turn off my feet"
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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