Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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