Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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