is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
