At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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