I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
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