Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
