u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
