he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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