just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
