It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
