she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
