no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
