my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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