i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
