We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
