My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
me + whiskey = a bad person
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
