we're blogging at a bar
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
The power of my boobs compel you
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Randomize
