Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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