She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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