omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
