its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
