If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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