he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
