lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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