Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
the day after is always just damage control
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
