I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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