Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
