we have pet lesbian snakes
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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