I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
