A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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