Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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