He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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