I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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