So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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