so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
