He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
