Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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