soooo we both peed the bed last night...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
