ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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