she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I think a kid would responsible me up
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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