Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
