so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's shark week go big or go home
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
