Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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