did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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