How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
