I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
