Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
