Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
