I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You can't special order awesome
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
