I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
50% drunk capacity currently
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
